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Changes in the child's behavior when a sibling arrives


The arrival of a new baby is an immense joy, but also important changes in family structure and routines. The arrival of a new little brother means that our day to day is completely altered, new schedules, new routines, new needs to attend to ...

And, the older siblings, although excited and happy for this new member of the family, are the ones who can suffer the most from this change in family structure. So is how the child's behavior can change when a sibling arrives.

For children, the arrival of a brother implies a new role in the family, a change in structure and roles at home. If he is an only child, he becomes the oldest, and if he is the youngest, he becomes the "middle one." In addition, parents have to distribute our attention and our displays of affection to a new member of the family, and it is the baby that monopolizes the attention of the adults in the environment.

Presumably, these changes can affect the behavior of the older sibling or siblings, awakening certain "jealousy" in them that lead or can lead to changes in their behavior and even regress, and return to stages that seemed to have been overcome. All these changes that occur in the child are normal and disappear over time, but it is important that parents give them a hand:

- It is not uncommon for there to be children who with the arrival of a brother start talking as if you were little.

- They claim us for tasks for which they were autonomous. For example, children who know how to eat by themselves and suddenly ask us to feed them because they do not know. Or children who slept alone and now demand that we sleep with them or ask us to put them to sleep. These regressions to a past stage are the result of the child's thinking that if they pay more attention to the baby, then by behaving like babies they will also pay more attention to them.

- It may happen that the child present a more irritable character, or be more sensitive and cry easily or get angry for no apparent reason. It is the result of the emotional tension they are experiencing, and that they do not know how to manage, since they do not have the necessary tools to do so.

- There are times when the child suddenly begins to not wanting one of the parents to take care of him. For example, I do not want my father to put me to bed or feed me and I want him to be a mother, or on the contrary, it may happen that they "do not love" mother and they demand all the time from their father to do everything with them.

- It is also not strange that children want teasing your little siblings, they take away the pacifier, or wake them up, or even scold them as if they were "their parents."

All these behaviors are nothing more than calls for attention, and we should not be alarmed. The important thing is how we manage this jealousy in older siblings, since to a large extent, the actions of the parents depend on whether this behavior is attenuated or worsened.

- Prepare the older brother and make him participate in the arrival of the new brother. Let him participate in the preparation of the baby's things, choose a toy or some clothes for his little brother.

- Maintain the routines of the elderly as far as possible. If we read him a bedtime story, and now we don't because we don't have time with the baby, he will feel very displaced and will blame his brother for the situation.

- Avoid "idealizing" the benefits of having a brother,(You will be able to play with him, and you will have a friend, and you will help him with a lot of things) since the immediate reality is that all those great things will take time to arrive, since the baby at the beginning is not a good companion of games.

- Ignore their bad behaviors and reinforce the good ones.

- Remind him of all the things we can do with him and not with his brother.

- Dedicate your moments exclusively, (the bathroom, taking him to play ...) and that mom and dad alternate, so that they are moments with both of them.

- We can involve in homework baby care and make her see that her help is very important.

- Never compare siblings, under no circumstances and avoid that phrase so typical of ... "You are the oldest, take care of your brother, son do not do what your little brother ... be careful with your brother who is small ..."

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