Movies and television advertisements have sold us an image of motherhood that has nothing to do with the reality of women who voluntarily decide to start this adventure. Bringing a life into the world is one of the most beautiful experiences a woman has in her life, but it can also be very painful. Fears, fears and feelings of guilt accompany us at every moment, creating a feeling of constant failure. Being a mother is difficult and exhausting, but only by admitting it can we ensure that this thought does not suffocate or drown us.
- Being a mom is exhausting.
- Yes, but the benefits make up for it.
- You can tell me. I am also a mom.
- Tell you?
- All the things you think, but do not allow yourself to say.
- Okay, me first. I love my son very much, more than I can express, but being a mother is not enough. I miss my job. You won't leave me alone here feeling like the worst mom ever, will you?
- Agree. I love my girls, but I have enjoyed not having them here. I needed a break. I feel guilty. Because he had always wanted a family. And now I have two beautiful girls and they are driving me crazy. And I feel like I'm failing all the time.
- You're not failing. Being a mom is hard.
- Being a mom is very difficult.
Thus began a conversation between two protagonists of a 2010 film (Sex and the City 2), two women who are mothers and confess about the feeling of being a mother. As the years go by, this issue among women is an issue that is difficult to speak openly.
Fortunately, something is changing and little by little, we are able to express feelings related to our children, without feeling guilty or bad mothers for feeling this way. In fact, it is an exercise that I recommend doing to free ourselves from toxic and negative thoughts towards ourselves. Shall we start?
If you could openly express your feelings, what is the first thing you would express? Write it down if you still can't speak it out loud. And if you dare, talk about it with other women ... you will be surprised what they say if you are totally honest! And please, whatever you put, remember a famous phrase by Jill Churchill, American writer: 'There is no way to be a perfect mother, there are a million ways to be a good mother.
Beliefs around the role of the mother are increasingly being uncovered and shared openly. And it is that we are faced with knowing if the expectations that I want to fulfill are mine or society's. We face the fear of not becoming the perfect mother that, unfortunately, traps us to let out who we really are.
We forget that our children do not want perfect mothers, but happy mothers. Mothers who feel good in the role of mother, daughter, partner, friend ... in any of their roles, because the important thing is to be the same in any of our facets!
I have to love myself, I have to like myself, I have to accept myself as I am. And that is what will really matter to my son and it will be what he wants for his mother because he will want to learn from her, that he also has to love himself. Don't forget that to take care of someone else, you first have to take care of yourself. How can we do this? Here are some tips!
- Looking for time for you
The day has 24 hours and within these possibilities you will surely take a moment to be with you and do what you really like: go to yoga class, practice running, read a book ...
- Meet friends
Women who are going through the same things as you and with whom you can vent or put a little humor in life, but also with those colleagues who are single and who will talk to you about something other than children.
- Delegate or download
At this point perhaps you should have a conversation with your partner. Perhaps you are overloading yourself with tasks and that is suffocating you. You are not a supermother or a superwoman, remember that!
Think that one day this exhausting stage of taking them to school, picking them up, after-school, uniforms and exams will pass. Your children will grow up and hopefully become independent, find a job, and start their own family. So, maybe, you miss this situation. Enjoy motherhood with its lights and shadows!
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