Love is one of those words that we all use regularly, but we don't really know what it means. Did you stop to think about it? As parents, in the name of love, we do much more than give our children wings to fly, what we do is cut them so that they resemble us as much as possible. And that's our first big mistake. We are going to try to open ourselves more to the concept of love, to understand what way we can show and give more love to our children every day and the consequences of not doing so.
Many times because we have not been taught or out of shame that our children discover our feelings, we avoid acts such as kissing or hugging them (and that inside we are wanting). Kisses and hugs are the best known ways to express love, but there are many more. We take a pencil and paper and write down:
1. Dedicating quality time.
2. Giving them attention.
3. Listening empathically and actively.
4. Letting do and be.
5. Being the best role model for our children.
6. Not teaching but showing.
7. Accompanying without squeezing the hand.
8. Not creating dependencies.
9. Setting limits and rules.
10. Sharing activities.
11. Giving confidence.
12. Creating spaces of intimacy and respecting them.
13. Taking care of the language and having a positive communication.
14. Appealing to common sense.
15. Empathizing with the child and the situation or moment they live.
16. Giving you confidence in your own feelings.
17. Helping you understand yourself.
18. Helping you calm down and make you feel better.
19. Expressing and showing signs of affection.
So if any of these things, as parents, don't know how to do it, now is the time to learn how to do it! With love comes everything else: trust, respect, security, support, attention, recognition, accompaniment ... As the writer Oscar Wilde said: "The best way to make children good is to make them happy."
Now that we know what we have to do, we have to face a second task that is somewhat difficult for today's parents: finding time to spend with the family! So that you can carry it out without many complications, here are some tips!
- Customize times
If you have two or three children, you will have to find moments of intimacy with each of them without the other being able to interrupt you or break the magic of that moment.
- Perform activities to suit each of them
Every weekend, for example, you choose one and so there are no arguments.
- Turning off the mobile
Avoid any kind of interruptions by leaving the phone in the bottom of the bag. The look of love, of attention, of I am here only for you.
When children grow a little older and become tweens and teens, it seems that those who reject that love from their parents are themselves. Why? Why when it comes to adolescence it is time to check what my parents have given me. I believe that I am autonomous, independent, and that I am right, our adolescents act from there ...
Peace of mind, which is normal. And furthermore, to the consolation of all, this period will pass. Of course, let's learn to accompany him so that living together at home is the best possible and, very importantly, do not pretend to be his friend. You are his father or mother!
A child who does not feel loved or who believes that he has no interest for his parents will not care about his studies, sports, or his friends ... Of course, he will be a child who isolates himself from the rest of his classmates, who finds it difficult interacting with them, that they feel shy… It can also be conflictive to attract attention and thus at least feel loved by someone even if it is doing wrong.
- The first sign that our son can show is his lack of social ability and this is the consequence of a lack of self-confidence.
- Insecurity can lead to not face conflict situations or others to avoid them.
- Too carries fear to abandonment, for not feeling important to anyone. This can end in isolation, due to your lack of empathy.
- Another sign is when the child is continually drawing attention with tantrums and possible outbursts.
- Employment of a negative and defeating language.
- The low selfsteem It is another very clear example of his lack of affection. You feel guilty for not knowing how to fill that void of affection.
- And of course, show sadness.
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