Being parents implies an arduous task of self-knowledge and self-development, because we do not want to cast our shadows on our children; on the contrary, the interest of a father goes hand in hand with a strong motivation to help and promote the happiness of the children. And is that you are the mirror where your child is reflected. What do you want me to see of you?
The main question is what things we must do to educate our children in a good way. For this it is crucial to first accept the dark aspects of ourselves, and then begin to transform them or lead them in a better way.
Another question that I recommend you ask yourself is: What things would you love for your children to learn from you? Perhaps it can be social skills, emotional self-control, industry, discipline, humor ... Each father and mother has a certain hierarchy of things that they want their children to learn, however many times what we say is different from what we do or act. We are not entirely consistent!
This incongruity greatly affects social learning, which is undoubtedly one of the most relevant learning when it comes to teaching, and we cannot forget that lmost human behavior is learned by observation through modeling or vicarious learning, which is learning by imitation that occurs during the early years of children. Parents and educators will be the basic role models, because they are significant and important people for the child. He spends most of his time with some and with others.
It was the psychologist Albert Bandura who proposed that learning focuses on how people observe models of their environment and integrate them into their own behaviors, make them their own! It is an immediate learning, unconscious and without the need for a practice process, so it is not surprising that children learn quickly if they observe their parents doing certain behaviors, like yelling or not controlling emotions.
1. Be calm
What happens in the child's brain when he sees that his parents lose their calm quickly in the face of his anger, that they yell at him and that, in some cases in an excessive and unjustifiable way, they hit him? After this, the learning that the child will observe will be of lack of control and violence, therefore this enraged behavior of a father or a mother will be what the child keeps for him and that he uses the next time he faces a stressful situation or frustrating, my advice is that when this situation occurs again parents should have learned to stay calm, breathe and think what they want our children to learn from this. Violence? I don `t believe.
2. Be happy
Happiness is also learned from observation. If your child sees that you are happy, that your behaviors are often laughing, playing and enjoying life, you will be helping him to have a positive attitude to life; Whereas if you continually complain and have a negative attitude, your child will probably learn it too. Remember that happiness is a decision of how we face difficulties.
3. Relate to others
Another very important aspect for their future and development in this world is sociability and the ability to bond with others, and this is also learned by their parents. If your child observes that you are not listening to him, that you are usually in front of a screen or other distractor, that you do not have an active listening attitude (look in the eyes or nod his head ...), then he will have a hard time listening and empathize with others. I recommend that every time your child talks to you, look him in the eye, listen to him carefully and ask him questions, that way he will know how to carry out healthy communication that will undoubtedly help him throughout life
4. Have self-esteem and love yourself
Positive self-esteem, so important to face different circumstances, is also in your hand. If your child observes that you usually complain about your physical appearance or that you do not take time to connect with yourself, he will quickly learn not to love himself as you are showing him.
You can read more articles similar to You are a mirror where your child is reflected. What do you want me to see?, in the category of Being mothers and fathers on site.