What is Christmas to you? What does this time of year mean to you? What would be the most suitable synonym for you? Give it some thought before answering with a single word. I imagine that depending on your personal situation, your social condition or your age, among other factors, you will perhaps answer joy, sadness, gratitude, solidarity, humility ... All of them are the values of this time of year! How to manage emotions at Christmas with children?
Children have to learn to manage emotions and parents must help them understand such Christmas feelings as joy or sadness. Andrés París, educational coach and pedagogue and speaker of the 1st Meeting #ConectaConTuHijo, organized by our site, helps us to work with the smallest of the house these feelings, because, as he himself says, Christmas is joy (or pseudo-joy) and joy is contagious, hence its importance.
But, What happens when a parent is sad and doesn't want to celebrate Christmas because of a bad personal moment? 'We have to respect the emotions of others and ours. If Christmas comes and we don't feel like being happy, nothing happens! Resilience appears there, that is, the ability to face that moment and to deal with this situation in a healthy and normal way, 'he explains. But above all, he advises us: never, under any circumstances, should we trample on the emotions of others.
And when is the child the one who loses the excitement for Christmas? So, there are the parents who have to do a rereading. Throughout the year, we 'give away' perhaps too many moments of emotion to children, since we anticipate what our children ask of us and we enter a very dangerous loop. As parents, we must continue to keep the illusion alive with our children in a simple way: teaching them that life is beautiful (and it is not so much having many gifts / toys).
We want to be the best parents, but sometimes we fail and that makes us feel really guilty. We set very high goals, which are sometimes not met, and we get frustrated. True? Andrés París sends us a reassuring message: 'We are human persons and we have the right to fail. And if one day, for whatever circumstance, I gave my son a shout, nothing happens! We have to, as parents, learn to relativize more. '
At Christmas, many times that wanting to be perfect means that we cannot enjoy this family period 100%. And it is that our obsession with looking for the best plans with our children - although that does not take us 2 hours in a queue waiting for see santa claus- or moving all our 'contacts' so that the Three Wise Men bring our children the toys they have asked for in their letter, it makes us lose patience and let's forget the true meaning of these dates.
If parents want to be happy, without a doubt, we have to lower our expectations, and this serves us 24/7 and 365 days a child. If our son does not go to Luna, the world does not end! 'We live in an educational moment -explains Andrés París- in which if we see that the little one approaches a piano and plays several keys in a row and with a certain rhythm, the parents want to enroll him in conservatory classes, because it will be (or so we think ) a great musician. This is a serious mistake, because what we have to do is read the obvious: he has played an instrument for the first time and there is nothing else. '
What is the main consequence of not stopping to read this? That if the child does not meet 'our expectations' we will end up getting angry with him, that is why this pedagogue insists that the best thing that can happen to parents is to have 'normal children' with whom they get angry, of course, but for other things (Remember that education is a process in motion and not static) and not because they do not fulfill our wishes and aspirations.
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