Dialogue and communication

7 mistakes that limit communication with your children

When a child does not speak or speaks little, interactions are not always easy and spontaneous. The child has less initiative to communicate and parents get anxious, leading us to situations where we screw up instead of creating an atmosphere that encourages communication. We want them to tell us, to answer our questions and without realizing it we stop communication with our son. You may not have realized it to date, but These are the 7 mistakes that limit communication with your children.

Talking to children is not always difficult. In this relationship, we are the adults and we have to provide the environment and the conditions for effective and bilateral communication. If in doubt, this is what to avoid before a conversation with your child!

Mistake 1: asking too many questions
We often ask repeatedly: What is it called? What is this? Faced with this, it is important to stop and think the following: The child took the initiative, he comes to show us something that caught his attention, he wants to share it with us. If we respond to their initiative by asking one question after another, probably if the child cannot answer due to lack of time, or feels intimidated, he will go away and continue playing alone or become frustrated by staying quiet. Communication will be interrupted and we will lose the opportunity to interact with him.

What I can do? A comment. I can transform that question into a comment. Instead of asking 'What's his name?', I can comment: 'What a bigger fire truck…'. Comments enable, pave the way, give peace of mind and do not put the child at the center, with the obligation to respond. Interrogations slow down, intimidate and if the child does not know the answer it can be distressing or embarrassing.

Mistake 2: Asking Questions They Can't Answer
If we think that he does not know what I am asking him, or cannot answer because it is too high or difficult for him, then I do not ask him that. We parents know our children, so we can know at what level of language they are: if they use gestures, isolated words or phrases. If you only use isolated words, I can ask alternative questions where the answer is included in the same question: Do you want to eat cookies or bread? Do you want to play ball or blow bubbles?

Mistake 3: Asking questions that are not related to the child's interests
It is important to know the interests and motivations of the child to interact with him. If a child is interested, you will get your attention and will learn better. If the child is playing with the car track, very excited going up and down the ramps and we ask him: 'What color is that car?', Do you think it will be relevant to him? Would you be interested to know what is red, at that moment? He will clearly be much more interested in you joining his game and commenting: '' My car goes down fast! ' or 'Is yours going to go down fast or slow?' or 'Watch out, my car crashes you!'

Mistake 4: Questions that test the child's knowledge
What is it called? Do you know? Do you remember the name? If he doesn't say so at that point, give him the model, show him options, but don't push him! You can make comments for the child to complete the sentence: 'The truck that extinguishes fires is… ..', 'The truck is big, the car is….'

Mistake 5: Not giving you time to respond
Remember when you were learning to drive, if you didn't have time and you had to respond quickly, what happened? Surely the car stopped, you got frustrated or distressed. Talking is not always as simple as it seems. While you wait for his response, be patient, look at him with expectation and great tranquility. Don't be rushed or restless, children perceive everything!

Mistake 6: interrupt and answer for him
In an effort to help him many times we prevent him from continuing to speak or make a mistake. Language development is a process, let him respond without interrupting him.

Mistake 7: Fix it
Don't say, for example, 'you don't say peio, you say dog'. Give him the correct model: 'The DOG is eating'. If you correct him every time he speaks, this can generate a negative way of perceiving his own way of speaking, impacting on his self-esteem and security.

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