You love your child more than anything in the world, you give everything for him, you guide him on his way and you are by his side every day and yet there are times when he does not perceive the love he needs to grow up happy. . Which are the signs that your child needs more love? Let's see it from the hand of María José Padilla, professional coach and family advisor.
Do you love your children? Surely the answer to this question is a resounding yes. Now, if I ask you this other question: Do your children feel loved? Surely the answer is also yes, but with a hint of doubt. And it is that no matter how much love and affection that parents give our children daily, they may not receive it in the correct way.
María José Padilla, coach and family advisor, invites us to think and reflect on this issue. The first thing it tells us is that one thing is what parents give and another how children receive it. If the perception is not correct, there may be a series of deficiencies that are created in childhood and carry over into adult life. Let's analyze one by one the signs that our child may have a lack of affection from the parents.
1. Tantrums, tantrums and tantrums, that occur especially when we are with other people and that are calls for attention in their purest form.
2. Insecurity, fears and fear of abandonment.
3. Lack of relationship with other childrenYes, that is, there is an isolation that is followed by sadness, because it does not have emotional security.
4. Negative language.
5. Low self-esteem.
6. Self-demand. Little ones with emotional deficiencies become very perfectionists.
Some shortcomings that creep at home and also at school. At the school level, these feelings can have repercussions on studies, and if they do not feel loved at home, they will not be motivated at school.
María José Padilla explains that 'Love is infinite and, furthermore, as parents, unconditional, however, it is in the first stage of our children's lives that we have to always be with and for them.' So, faced with a lack of affection towards children, how can parents change this situation? The expert points out these key points to take into account:
- We must be aware of the signs we just saw and that indicate a possible lack of love.
- Have mindfulness with them. Dedicate quality time to them and not empty time in which we are at their side more aware of the mobile than of anything else.
- Accompany them on their way and be by their side without being too demanding. The key is not to demand but to guide them in their learning in a loving and respectful way
- Let children be children, and not only that, but they must be themselves not a photocopy of the parents.
- Give them confidence, security and respect your private space.
- Have signs of affection daily so they can feel good.
- Know at all times in what process we are as parents. Whether they need help learning to ride a bike, doing homework, or getting to know themselves. Be careful, being by his side does not mean getting in his way.
Why do teenagers sometimes seem to want nothing to do with our love? It is during childhood that we must give them love while respecting their space so that when they reach adolescence and later adult life, they can feel good, loved and, therefore, form their own personality in the correct way.
María José Padilla comments on the following: 'From 12 or 13 years old to 18, they themselves will make us see the learning they have received as children, without forgetting that it is not only the love and affection that we give them but how they receive it and assimilate them. It is a stage in which they have the need to check everything for themselves, hence the reason why it is difficult for them to give and accept expressions of affection from parents. '
Once again, they must be left with independence and autonomy, essential for them to check the limits. Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to shake your hand in public anymore! Do not be alarmed, it is another stage of life that must be passed. Our work as parents? Always accompany them and guide them on their way. And not only that, but you also have to ...
- Enjoy with them now more than ever.
- Find time to do things together.
- Try know how they think, how they act and how they spend their day to day.
- Hear everything they have to tell us.
- Try avoid conflicting communication, or what is the same, say as little as possible phrases such as 'I told you' or 'I already knew that was going to happen to you'.
- And last but not least, follow the limits and rules inside and outside the home.
Only then will we be able to make our children see that we are there by and for them and that our love is the truest there is.
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