Fights and arguments between siblings are frequent, you know that well! One of them wants a toy and the other tries to keep it in his possession at all costs and that is where the discussion begins. What to do? Many times you stare without knowing if it is better to intervene or let them solve it on their own. Here are a few mother tricks (lovingly written) to help you children do not fight at all hours, or at least, don't do it all the time. Let's see them!
Let me share one thing with you. My son is going to be 7 years old and my daughter is going to be 2. They have been just 5 years old, (they were both born in September) and, although many mothers told me in their day that they were not going to play together, they already did. they do daily. In its own way, because one does nothing but look for the other, and vice versa. Why am I telling you all this? Well, because, as with siblings who are more or less the same age, my children also fight.
The brothers are going to grow up together and that implies loving each other a lot, living incredible moments and also fighting. What can we mothers and fathers do to avoid as much as possible those fights that often end in heartbroken tears? Here are a few mother tricks that I have learned myself over time and that will be of great help so that your children do not fight every two by three.
1. Let your children have their space
That children have their own space is something important for them and for their parents. I have realized that the more I am on top of my little ones saying phrases like 'don't hit your brother' or 'don't take your sister's toys' the more they argue with each other. That space will make them learn to solve their things on their own.
2. Intervene when necessary
Allowing them to learn from mistakes and give them room to fix their things is not at odds with intervening when necessary. When you see that the situation has crossed the line, because one of the two brothers is doing things that should not, set the appropriate limit; yes, always explaining things so they can understand.
3. Don't label your kids
Avoid labeling any of the children. It is better to ask and observe than to judge. Although they will not understand those labels as such, they will realize that you always say the same thing when scolding. For example, 'You are already taking your brother's toys away just like you do every day.' It works better to explain things and say them positively: 'ask permission before taking the toy your brother is using.'
4. Distribute the attention between your children
This trick from mom, I know you know it well enough, but there are times when it can be overlooked, especially if one of your children is smaller than the other. Try to dedicate time individually to each child and also together. Paying the attention that each one needs and spending time with the family will make them feel loved and safe.
5. Does your older child have to take care of the little one?
I often tell my older son to take care of his sister. There is nothing wrong with it, but if it is done in excess it can be a mistake. The older child should have his role as such, but not fall into the role of being another caregiver for the younger brother. They should play with each other as brothers of similar ages do.
6. Teach your children to learn to dialogue
The key is to show children that instead of arguing or fighting they can talk to solve things, certainly a complicated task but that in the long term it can be achieved. Most sibling fights occur because either they want to get something or they want to protect something so their brother doesn't take it away. It is there that, once they are calm, you should talk with both of them so that they see that they can mediate and talk and that they do not need to fight and argue. In turn, make them see the importance of having each other, sharing moments together is priceless.
7. Lead by example
Is it worth anything to teach children not to fight if we as adults solve things with bad manners? Of course not. Nor is it much use to get in the middle of their fight screaming and shouting. If you speak in a calm voice and without losing your temper, you will see for yourself that they will do the same. Children learn by imitation!
And to all Tricks of mother already seen to prevent your children from fighting, It should be added that education is the key to everything, that good communication at home must be fostered, a climate of collaboration must be supported and an interest in what concerns each child. All together ... it gives great results!
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