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Emotional changes all men go through as fathers


We all know that women experience a lot of physical and psychological changes when they have a child. But what few of us know or make known are the emotional changes men go through as fathers, since somehow these are relegated to the background.

The reality is that men also suffer the same changes as women during and after pregnancy, perhaps not in the same tune because they are not the ones who carry the baby in their womb, but that is why their feeling of empathy expands And even your anxieties may increase, because you feel a little incapable of helping your partner on a deeper level.

If you are about to become a dad and come across an overwhelming mix of joy and fear, don't worry, this is totally normal during the pregnancy stage and even the first days or week after the baby's arrival. This is produced by the new adaptation that must take place in your life.

However, many men may feel guilty about the suffering of their partners, worrying about not knowing if they will be able to offer a good future to their children or if they will be able to take care of them. In addition, in some cases, to this must be added the responsibility imposed on the baton to maintain economic and protective stability, which sometimes prevents them from being able to enjoy the parenting stage.

In general, these feelings and concerns are the result of a degree of insecurity of men, since they perceive that it is women who can respond better to the demands of fatherhood, since they have by nature 'The maternal gene' while they see themselves as clumsy or incapable.

But this is completely wrong, men are capable of caring, loving and adapting to the changes of parenthood with the same effectiveness as women, since they have the same hormonal, mental and physical characteristics for this, as well as the instincts to respond to their environment.

But what are these emotional changes that we talk about?

Emotional changes caused by hormones

At the hormonal level, in the same way as it happens with women during this stage, there is an increase in oxytocin and vasopressin, hormones related to empathy, social ties and reward, emotions that neuroscience experts link to parenthood and sibling relationships.

In some cases there is even an increase in prolactin, a hormone that develops in women during their pregnancy, which makes them more sensitive and even susceptible to anxieties and worries. Precisely what happens in cases of empathic pregnancies.

In a study that took place at Emory University in Atlanta, it was shown precisely that men develop the same hormonal change as women (in producing high levels of oxytocin) regarding motivation and pride in caring for, educating and getting involved in raising their children. By scientifically proving that men can respond positively to fatherhood.

This is but a beautiful invitation to fathers to be more open with these feelings and to put aside the social stigmas that men should be stoic and emotionally distant figures compared to women in their role as fathers.

The psychological changes that men undergo

Apart from the empathy and motivation that occur naturally thanks to hormonal changes in men, it is the interest in being emotionally involved that is a highlight and that, unfortunately, even today many dismiss, which is manifested in the men during pregnancy and postpartum parenting.

Many still have the idea that men should be an imposing and somewhat reserved figure as parents, while women are the ones who can demonstrate vulnerability. When many men show us that this does not have to be this way. They also care, feel fear, joy, pride and depending on their freedom to express it is that they feel insecure or confident as future parents.

The more involved the man is in learning to take care of his children and show his excitement for this new stage, the more confident you will have in the future to raise your children, even having a positive impact on them, since they perceive a loving father, instead of an intimidating one.

So do not succumb to panic, instead choose to study and prepare for this new stage with the best possible attitude, accompany your partner and do not let anyone overshadow your joy at becoming a dad.

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Video: The Father Wound. Otto Kelly. TEDxCarsonCity (October 2020).