¿Your son wants to have a brother and so has he told you? What have you answered? That wanting a little brother is something that sooner or later almost all children ask for. In these lines I want to tell you about my experience and what I did when my little one told me that when he was going to be the older brother. I hope it helps you to reflect!
If my son asks me for a brother, do I give it to him? This is the great question of children that is a challenge for parents. And, no matter how young they are, children already have their own opinion. It happened to me, my children are just 5 years old (they were both born in September) and When my little one was about 3 years old, he said to me 'Mom, when is the baby coming?'.
What struck me the most is how you posed the question. He did not say that if he was going to have a brother, he directly asked when he was going to have one. Perhaps she had drawn her own conclusions from listening to her dad and me speak.
Another thing that surprised me a lot is that, when after a while, we told him that we were going to have a baby, he said that he wanted it to be a girl, that's the way it was. My son is an excellent older brother! But wait a second, maybe I'm over-conditioning you. Let's see together a series of premises that you must take into account if you are thinking of giving your child a brother.
1. The decision must be made by the parents
Of course, the child also has to have an opinion that has to be valued, but the decision to have another baby must be made by the parents. It goes without saying that it has to be done from the heart but also from the reason. You already know what the arrival of a new baby entails.
2. Tell your child about things as they are
My son, when he said he wanted a sister, he said it thinking about the beautiful things: playing with her, growing up with her, going out to the park ... So his dad and I told him that of course it was going to be like that but that I also had to take into account that a baby is a great responsibility and that at first they are so small that they spend the whole day sleeping.
In turn, we explained that newborn babies need to spend a lot of time with their parents, especially with the mother if she is going to breastfeed. And that means having less time to play and do other things. You may think that I was a bit harsh when I told my son things as they were, but my idea was that he understood everything as best as possible. I have to tell you that, although there was jealousy, the strategy did not give me a bad result.
3. The older brother takes on an important role
What did we do at home to try to prevent the child from feeling displaced by the arrival of the baby? Well, giving him the role he deserves: that of an older brother who knows how to take care of the baby. Simple things like picking up the pacifier, reaching for the wipes, or staying by the baby's side while Mom goes to the bathroom make the older brother feel responsible and important. By the way, when you have time, save an exclusive time to dedicate to your older son and offer him a small reward for how well he does.
4. Talk to the little one since the pregnancy begins
If you have already decided to give your child a brother, this is another point to consider. It is about telling the older brother how his little brother is growing inside Mom's belly. It is an ideal way for you to feel one more of the process and to understand things much better when the baby arrives in the world. You do not have to show him everything as it happens but give him information that he can understand and that makes him comfortable and safe.
I hope I've brought doubts!
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