How can we educate children without losing our temper? And without yelling! The theory is more or less clear to us but when it is time to put it into practice it seems that we have completely forgotten. Maybe it's time to turn that theory around. How? You will be thinking. Well, applying the Montessori method. Let's see what advice this educational model gives us that can help you not lose patience with your children.
Let me share with you something that has happened to me more than once. My son, who is now 6 years old (or even my daughter who is about to turn 2 years old) insists more than once on making things very difficult for me, either by throwing my shoes instead of putting them on, giving inappropriate answers or not paying attention to what I say, no matter how valid the arguments are and are well explained.
And it is in these types of situations that my heart and part of my reason tell me 'it is not so serious, nothing happens', but there is an inner voice (born from the fears that all parents have) that tells me' that It's intolerable, as long as you don't put limits on it, things won't go well. ' Of course you have to set limits from respect and talk a lot to them so they understand things But is it really that important that they learn to put on their shoes or brush their teeth on that very day? Better to give them a little margin so that the matter ends in a tantrum for the child and the parents as well.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I imagine that it has happened to you too, because of that and because I would like to share with you what I have learned from the Montessori method. It is not that I follow it as it is, you know that what is valid for one child may not work for another, but it has been of great help to me follow these premises, take them to my field and use them according to the context. I hope they are of great use to you too. Educating without losing your temper is possible!
[Read +: Consequences of educating children with shouting]
1. Analyze what scares you
As I was saying before, many times I mismanage my children's behaviors for fear that they will 'go astray'. Well, that is the personal exercise that I have to do as a mother, find out all those fears and think that they are not so bad, that is, relativize. Do it yourself and you will win.
2. When you see that you can't take it anymore, visualize a place that makes you feel good
Visualize a place that brings you beautiful memories or one of your favorite everyday scenes (I love to see when my children play together); It is a great help to keep calm when there are stressful situations at home. But it is also true when it comes to being positive, educating without losing your temper and doing it from a good mood. Trust me, it has worked for me more than once, especially when I'm having a bad day.
3. Write down in a list all the good things that you know will happen to you that day
This simple exercise serves to guide the little ones without nerves or stress and also as a personal method to achieve happiness. Write down in a list all the good things that you are going to experience that day: go to find the children at school, have a snack with them, read them a story ... Why do you feel better just thinking about it?
4. Anticipate the situation that makes you lose your temper
I often lose my temper in the morning when I'm in a hurry to get out of the house, and my son is terribly lazy to get dressed and brush his teeth. When do you usually lose your temper? It is about anticipating that situation, visualizing it and seeing yourself in it managing it in the best possible way. Another Montessori technique that usually works well.
5. Enjoy your children as much as you can
We know that the rhythm of daily life often does not allow us to enjoy our children as much as we would like, but we must always take exclusive moments for them because it will be those moments of happiness that will make our stress go away. Do you have plans for this weekend? Organize an outing with yours, you will see how good it suits you all.
Always educating from happiness is the key to doing it without losing your nerves.
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