All people need throughout our lives to other people as references, that is, people who in one way or another end up permeating and modifying our behaviors and attitudes. As we grow, our references change, and we choose those people who are role models for us, who transmit us attitudes and behaviors that we do not have but that we want to incorporate.
But, what about children? Do they not need references because they are small? Do you have to wait to get older to choose those references? Who are the children's references? To answer these questions, I propose the spiral method.
The answers to the questions posed above are the same: No; no, far from it. Having well-defined references is vital for children to have correct development and harmonious in your life.
Parents are very concerned about who the children's referents are to know how they are influencing them. Above all, it is important to us to know if the influence they exert on the little ones is positive or negative. To identify them, I propose the spiral method; a simple game that allows us to establish a scale of which are the most important references for children.
Imagining children's learning as if it were a spiral, children's referents are also constructed in a spiral, with the parents being at the center of the spiral.
1. Parents. The center of the spiral
Parents, apart from the education they provide, are a benchmark in terms of the values they transmit; they are the main enhancer of the child's values. Hence the importance we have as parents to set a good example for our children, something of which we are not always fully aware.
2. The teachers. The second childhood references
If we continue walking down the spiral, we find the second who are the teachers. Teachers are in second place after parents, and they are a reference, since they play a very important role, they are people who spend a lot of time with children and the fact of spending a lot of time makes us have them as a reference, for what he tells us, by how he tells us, by his emotions, by how he transmits his relationship with the teachers, etc.
3. Brothers and friends. They are also an important reference
If we continue with the spiral we will find the older siblings, another great reference in the development of children, since remember that children learn but above all they imitate. At this same point we can find cousins, uncles or children of friends with whom we also spend a lot of time.
4. Public figures. They also set an example
The next in the spiral may be public figures of some relevance to them as athletes, program presenters, current singers, etc. It is highly recommended that you calibrate if that public figure is a good reference.
Right now in Spain in the sports environment we have very good athletes who are being a great reference for our children. In the end, we want them to imitate that way of being that way of acting, based on normal values of people. For example, the Gasol brothers, Rafael Nadal, Iniesta, Casillas, Marc Marquez, Mireia Belmonte, Ona Carbonell, Carolina Marín, Teresa Perales and Lydia Valentin are worth mentioning. All of them represent effort, the value of work, talent and simplicity.
Therefore, think that the referents are very important in children for their proper development and, therefore, it is important to know the order of influence of each of them.
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