Why do we often insist on spoiling this wonderful moment that is motherhood with phrases that are not relevant? If all women have to put up with comments like 'Don't you want to have children?', 'By when will a brother for the little one?', Imagine mothers of twins or twins. The repertoire increases! If, like me, you have a friend or acquaintance with two children, I advise you to take notes: these are The 7 things you should not say to a mother of twins or twins.
When I talk to my friend Marga, a mother of two 10-year-old twins, I always ask her the same thing, (she is something innocent and trying to assess her situation): 'It had to be hard to have two at the same time, right?' And she always replies: 'Since I've never had one, I can't tell you. For me this situation has been normal and, by the way, wonderful. '
She always answers with her best smile. What makes her frown are other, somewhat negative comments about the conception, raising or education of her two butterflies. Do you want to know what he means? Maybe it will come in handy for the next time you see parents with twins or twins on the street.
1. Did you get pregnant naturally or with treatment?
I think that, honestly, this is a question that disrespects the other person. What difference does it make how these children were conceived? Does the affection that these parents have for them vary in something? This detail should not interest anyone and I think it only comes from calming that 'need' to dive into the lives of others without paying attention to our own.
2. Are there other cases of twins or twins in your family?
This question has almost the same intention as the previous one: to search the privacy of others. According to the Spanish Fertility Society (SEF), the genetic component influences, but so do other elements such as being a mother or father from the age of 35, if you have had a previous multiple pregnancy, the mother's weight (her BMI is 30 or higher than this figure) or that the woman is black.
3. If they are identical, how can you tell them apart?
A mother's instinct is such that she is capable of being at work and feeling that her daughter is having a hard time at school. And it is that the fact of carrying a living being inside your gut makes the connection between them unique. Thus, how can a mother of twins not know how to distinguish one from the other? Each child is special. Perhaps it shocks when there are obvious signs that differentiate them, such as that one is blonde and the other is dark, or that one is a boy and the other a girl, ahem, ahem ...
4. Who is the smartest?
It is better not to answer this type of question. Why does man have the bad habit of always putting labels on everything? Here it is not a question of smart or foolish, of handsome or ugly, of ups or downs, but of feelings, something that cannot be measured.
5. Who is the oldest?
This is undoubtedly another of the star questions that many mothers of twins or twins have to hear. And, although it seems innocent, many parents prefer not to answer it and even less talk about it with their children because they think that it could create friction and unnecessary fights in the future.
6. And for when the third?
Having children is not like shopping for a loaf of bread. Parents have to make that decision with a head and with common sense, especially if they already have two mouths to feed and, above all, to raise and educate. In addition, the woman's body needs time to recover, because carrying two babies in the gut for bill, and a lot!
7. Are you already planted then?
And, depending on what is answered to the previous question, you are immediately surprised with another, but we return to the same thing: having children is a very personal decision. Some are happy with one, others with two, and the bravest have three. Let everyone do what they feel! A family is complete when the father and mother feel so.
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