Dialogue and communication

The danger of parents not taking care of language when children are in front of them


Children are sponges that capture, even if they do not understand it well, even the smallest detail that happens around them. Therefore, even when they are very small, as parents and adults that we are we must take care of language when there are children in front of you. What can happen if we don't? Somewhat embarrassing situations like the one that I am going to tell you about and that I experienced a few days ago in the first person with my little girl.

A few weeks ago I was attending with my daughter the birthday of the daughter of some very good friends. Carmen was turning 8 years old and her parents had prepared a fantastic snack for young and old. There was no lack of detail in the event, delicious and very well prepared food, drinks for everyone, good music, decoration ...

Adults and children shared space: a large terrace with different areas to play, sit and have a snack. The little ones ran and played in the yard and the adults, as usual, were with one eye on our children and the other on the delicious snack, while we tried to have a conversation that was interrupted from time to time by the little ones.

The conversations, which were varied, came and went. Suddenly a father, answering a compliment received by his little crawler of about 10 months, said: 'I will dress him as a ladybug as he is now until he is one year old, then I will dress him as a man'. There was some laughs on the forum!

My daughter, who was close to me and I think she did not hear the full comment, approached and asked me to bend down, she asked me softly while looking at the little crawler, who for clarification of many was dressed in pastel tones, what were the clothes for dress up ladybug. She loves costumes and I imagine she placed the little crawler on her head with a shiny red shell, big black dots, and beautiful antennae.

Using the famous and correct technique of the question, I asked her: 'What do you think is the clothes that a ladybug wears?', To which she replied with a detailed description of the costume, and I said: 'That Same is what I was thinking, honey, because if I had said crocodile it would be another costume, right? ' We both laughed.

Next, she started a long list of possible wearable animal costumes, and luckily, it seemed like the best way out of that situation that my daughter was not yet ready to understand. But yes, all the adults who were there, we understood the meaning that he wanted to give with his comment, not correct from my point of view for many reasons.

When we share adult and small spaces we must be much more aware of what we speak, how we speak it and, even, what our non-verbal communication is like. For boys and girls we are references, and they will learn more from what we do than from what we tell them to do.

They also see and hear the way of speaking, the tones, the insults, the sarcastic or ironic comments, and if there are curious children, they can ask what it means and it may not be the time for them to learn it. So it is necessary that we be attentive, very attentive to what we say and in front of whom we say it.

As an adult, I am clear about my values ​​and I go through life with them, but my daughter and the rest of the children who were there are learning and choosing their values, which in most cases will grow with those of their mother and of his father, in short, of his adult references.

This is a clear example of why is it so important to take care of our language always, but more when there are children in front.

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