Self esteem

Stale phrases that are said to children and that you should banish right now


Who wouldn't want children to come with an instruction book under their arm when they were born? And it is that, the upbringing and the education are not always easy. When our baby is born there are many voices that we hear. Everyone around us always knows more than we do and they don't hesitate to make it clear to us. But we must remember that only parents have the right answers: our instinct is the safe bet. And often our instincts tell us that we should Banish some of the stale phrases spoken to children right now (and that they probably told us when we were little).

If our little one is happy, we are on the right track. Although no one says it's easy. Many times it is the children who put us parents to the test: tantrums, contradictions, demands, fatigue, fights ... And to this we must add our own fatigue, endless working days (which little adjust to the family conciliation) , stress, worry about making ends meet ... Add it up and go on. And, of course, our patience disappears and lets out the ogre that we carry inside.

However, times are changing. And we already know that learning and education are not achieved with severe authority. Working as a family, affection and tenderness is the key. Today's parents also prepare and educate ourselves to be better parents. Many studies and educational currents support that our little ones will be happier with a positive education, that is, one that highlights the virtues of the child in the face of their failures and bad behaviors. And the thing is, there is no bad child or good child, only little ones becoming adults and understanding a world built by others.

For all this, neither the spanking, nor the slapping, nor the shouting, nor the slapping should come out of the trunk of the past. Similarly, we must banish from our vocabulary those fillers that we have inherited from our elders and that today we already know that instead of helping us in the formation of our children, they only serve to ridicule them, label them and lower their self-esteem and security. Nor should we make value judgments about how they were educated before, or blame grandparents who did the best they could with the tools and information they had at their disposal. They were other times, with other crises and other social values, where respect and good manners due to the fear of what they will say left emotions and feelings aside.

Next, we want to share from our site some of those phrases from then that nowadays we better bite our tongues before pronouncing them.

1. Because I said so, period
Without a doubt, this is the great 'hit' that has been heard in most homes. He came to say something like 'I'm in charge here and you have neither voice nor vote and whatever I say is done'. Fortunately, today we integrate our little ones and make them participate in family decisions. You have to explain yourself and make the child understand things, otherwise he will end up thinking that his opinion does not matter to anyone. It is important to listen to them and try to reason with them the answers as a family.

2. Boys don't cry
Before, men were trained to be strong and courageous. And the tears were a symbol of little manhood. How many adults are there today with knots in their throats because they were not taught to express their emotions as children? Life is full of laughter and tears and none is the heritage of any kind. Of course children cry and it is also very healthy to do so. Tears are just that, tears, and no one is stronger or braver for not crying.

3. Behave like a lady
If boys were asked not to cry, girls were required to 'see, hear and shut up'. No running, well-placed and immaculate clothes, no fights, or climbing a tree ... The list of things frowned upon in a 'young lady' is long. Today we already know that the work of psychomotor skills in children does not depend on gender either. The little ones have to experiment.

4. Don't play tomboy football
It is a variant of the previous sentence. Also very listened to and repeated. Thanks to the feminist struggle, little by little, little steps are being taken to end inequality. And although there is still a long way to go, we already see women's sports in 'prime time'. We are on the right track.

5. If the teacher has scolded and punished you, then you have done something
Where has the presumption of innocence been hidden? If parents are not capable of standing up for our children, then who will? eye! Nor is it a question of disavowing the teacher, only of knowing both versions of the facts because the teacher by the simple fact of being the adult does not have to be the bearer of the absolute truth. And it is that, the world is full of injustices.

6. Slaps are being distributed and you carry all the tickets (or ballots)
Surely a parent when reading this you are visualizing a flying shoe. Zero violence. That has to always be our motto. No spanking, no slapping. Nothing. We must resolve conflicts with words and a lot of tenderness. If our little ones learn that problems are solved with blows, we will continue to have a violent society.

7. If you misbehave, at night the coconut (monster, wolf) will come to take you away
Scare or death. Before it was brought up with fear and threat. But what need was there to have a bad time with nightmares? There is no explanation. Our little ones should not be afraid of the night and although they should learn that their actions have consequences, they should grow freely and not thinking that something bad is going to happen to them.

These are some 'famous quotes' that generation after generation have passed from parents to children, always under the presumption that it was for the good of the child, and that if they were heard today someone could end up calling Social Affairs or Child Protection. Do you remember the ones they said to you and that you would never repeat to your children?

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