Children are born from love, from a crazy night, from a celebration, from a carelessness, from a passion, from an intense search ... There is also the option of adopting, or a surrogate, in either case, I would ask : Do you want to be a mother or have a child? Because, although it may seem like it, it is not the same.
Being a mother and having a child are not the same.
- It is not the same to want to have a child to make him happy, than to want to have a child to make me happy.
- It is not the same to want to be a mother, with what a wish implies, than to want to make another person happy.
- It is not the same to want your life to change with the arrival of a baby, than to want to change the life of a baby.
And it is that, each mother feels like a mother in a different way. And neither is the same as the other, because each person's feelings are only theirs and different from everyone else.
Sometimes, I ask my friends who are also mothers, if they would become mothers again in the event of being born again. It amazes me that not all of them answer yes. The sincerity amazes me and I appreciate it. Ultimately, being a mother is not something that is studied or can be prepared. Being a mother is a feeling, which you either have or you don't have. However, you can also have children and not be a mother.
Sometimes I say that because you have a piano, you are not a pianist. Or by writing a book, you are not a writer. Likewise, it can happen with motherhood, for having a child, you are not a mother.
The decision is very simple: From where do I want to exercise motherhood? Do I want to be happy or do I want to make happy? These are some of the questions that we must also answer within this collection of questions that add up to our lives every day ...
I believe that asking questions, and even more so, good questions, is the best way to increase our quality of life and expand our space of happiness. It is the best way to get to know each other, to know where we are, to recognize where we are going and above all, to know how far we are willing to give.
For this reason, below I propose some of the questions that it never hurts to ask before and during motherhood. Answering them will help you to know what your real position is with respect to yourself and your loved ones.
- What would you do for your family? How far would you be willing to go? Do you set limits? Where do you place them?
- How is your role as a mother? What kind of mother are you / do you think you will be? And which one would you like to be?
- What kind of family do you want to build? Do you agree with your partner in the idea that you have of the family? Have you talked about it?
- What is happiness for you? Does it lie in you or in others? How do you deal with it and what do you do to get it? How is a happy day for you?
- What inspires you the most to be happy? Do you manage to have that source of inspiration close by often to achieve happiness?
- Have you reflected on the feeling of being a mother? What honest conclusions have you reached? Do they satisfy you?
- Do you say 'I love you' and show it to the people you love?
Answering these questions will make you discover many things about yourself and the way you feel and you understand motherhood. This is a very important requirement when considering whether you are in the group of those who want to be a mother or those who want to have a child.
Thank you! Mother!
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