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Why there are children who need to be the center of attention (and what to do)


Children throughout their development and, especially in the stages that range from 4 to 10 years old, increasingly acquire the fear of being abandoned or ignored. That is why little ones demand the attention of the adults around them when they feel that they are not receiving enough attention. However, before the crying and screaming, parents wonder why there are children who need to be the center of attention always. And, more importantly, what can be done in these cases?

When the child demands attention, it does not always do it in a kind way, since when it does it in an appropriate way it is not usually 'reinforced'. In this way, you will use other ways to get noticed and be the center of adult attention. He will behave badly looking for the answer of his parents, because that way the adults will stop everything they are doing at that moment to focus on him.

The little one discovers that by using this negative behavior he can handle and blackmail his parents. They manage to manipulate them to the point where they not only get their attention but also achieve exclusivity.

What attitudes or behaviors do children acquire when they want to attract attention? The little one resorts to a wide catalog of behaviors such as:

- Crying
With his sobs the baby expresses what he is not able to say with words. It is a form of language. The fact that it is so distressing is not accidental: nature has done it this way to awaken in those who hear it the need to come.

- Scream and shout
There are children who only get paid attention when they do mischief or their behavior is inappropriate. Many times when children call their parents appropriately they are not taken care of. Until they yell or yell, they don't take them into account.

- Tantrums
Calls for attention related to acts of rebellion begin to gain importance around 2 years. For example, in a child who is already fatigued: The child has said on several occasions that he wants to go home, that he is tired and his request made in an adequate way is not attended by the parents. Finally, they only take you into account if you explode in a disproportionate tantrum or protest.

- Jealousy and rivalry between siblings
Inappropriate behavior appears when parents are focused on one of the siblings (usually the youngest) and misbehaving manages to divert the attention of their parents and return to being the center, even if it is to earn a scolding.

For the child to develop and mature properly, it will be essential that the little one feels that the adults around him take care of him and they offer you the security you need to grow.

Thus, when children need the help of their parents, they will cry to call them. If your caregivers meet your needs, you will relax. If they do not, the child will seek other types of strategies to receive the attention demanded. Thus the child can: cry louder, scream, throw objects, etc. All histrionic behaviors that make the adult put aside what he is doing to focus on the little one.

If these behaviors are repeated frequently over time, it will create an insane relationship habit where the child continually seeks to be the center of attention through negative reinforcement to feel safe.

If the child wants to be the center of attention, it is a signal for parents that indicates that dialogue, understanding and affection are needed. To achieve this it will be necessary that:

1. Parents consider whether the child is being cared for appropriately and given sufficient attention.

2. Pay special attention when the child behaves appropriately.

3. Use empathy.

4. That parents take an interest in their children's affairs. Take an interest in what they are doing, get involved in what they are asked and praise and congratulate when they deserve it.

5. Find a shared playtime with the children.

6. Ignore inappropriate behaviors, whenever possible, so that they see that they are served much more when they act appropriately.

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