Surely many times you ask yourself: Why do my children need to get me off my nerves when we could enjoy together more without yelling or fighting? Can you imagine that your children let you get into trouble when you are with them? For reduce children's stress (and also from parents), in addition to eliminating tensions at home, I propose the echo game. Have you heard of him?
The echo game will help you to improve communication and you will promote that all the good things that your children have are seen more. In this way you are going to reduce bad behaviors gradually, also diminishing the power of the dark side of family tensions. And, in addition, without a doubt, you will be able to reduce the stress of the family.
Surely your children know what the echo is. If they don't know, you should explain that it is simply the acoustic phenomenon that is created when you yell something and that message is returned to you. Sometimes it happens that you are in a tunnel or in front of a mountain, you shout 'Hello!' and the tunnel or mountain gives you another 'Hello!' At home you can try screaming in the bathroom.
Once they know what echo is, you should explain that the relationship with people works like an 'echo'. How is that? Well, no matter what one 'yells' at, that is, no matter how one treats another person, that person will treat one in the same way. If you treat another person with hatred, the other person will not treat you with love. If you treat another person with distrust, the other person will not treat you with confidence. As with an echo and as we treat others, they will return the same treatment.
Each person uses a blank sheet of paper on which they draw three columns that can be read:
- Name: Write the names of the people you are going to play the game with.
- Relationship: Write at the height of each name what type of relationship you want to create with that person. For example: love, trust, fun, etc.
- Give: Write what you are going to give each person to create that desired relationship. For example: 'be more detailed', 'don't fight', 'thank him', etc.
On the other hand, vertically you have to put the rest of the family members: Dad, mom, brother ... You must repeat this table as many times as people want to play, so that each one has their own.
If you notice, there is no 'Receive' column because the echo only works if you take the first step and if you are proactive: the mountain repeats 'Hello!' if you've yelled 'Hi!' before. In the same way, you can't expect other people to treat you well if you don't do it first. First you have to 'Give' to create the communication and relationship that one wants.
Once each member of the family has their 'El Eco' chart, for the next three weeks, each night the family meets for about 5-10 minutes before having dinner or going to sleep for each one to share if they fulfilled their 'Give' list from 'El Eco' with each person. The rest of the family complements what each one is saying, highlighting actions that fulfill 'El Eco' that perhaps the family member did not even realize they did and inviting them to take advantage of more opportunities to continue fulfilling 'El Eco'.
I hope you find it fun to share real communication time away from the noise of television, the mobile phone and so many distractions that we have today that connect us by disconnecting us from the people we love.
I read once that the affective is effective, and it is totally true. Your children to grow and develop need emotional caresses and they will look for them at any cost. If they don't receive the daily ration of positive caresses they need to grow and develop, such as:
- that you dedicate quality time to them.
- that you listen to them without haste.
- that you see them play or that you play with them.
- tell them how proud you are of them.
- that you tell them and show them your love with words coupled with deeds.
So don't forget, if you don't give them the emotional caress (as is done in this game) they need they will turn to the dark arts of force to get your attention. Yes! They will mess it up, they will look for negative caresses and they will look for tickles. They will drive you out of your boxes and they will end up making you angry just to stop what you're doing and dedicate your time to them.
Yes, it sounds wicked and twisted! But it is what our children do to us every time they feel that we are not there 100% with them when they need us. For that reason you have to be prepared to make yourself the task of educating easier.
It is very curious, but the moment your children are charged with positive caresses, they also fill up with energy and stop needing you so much. This allows them to function independently until they use up that energy of love. It is just at the moment when they are downloaded or something happens to them that overwhelms them or makes them feel fear or lose security when they will return to claim your positive caress. Those positive caresses that you give them will be their dose of care, love and attention to continue developing in a healthy and balanced way.
It seems magical but the moment you commit to spend time a day just for themBy putting aside the rest of the 'occupations and tasks of adult life', the relationship with your children relaxes and their behavior and academic performance improve.
Remember that the happiness of your family depends on 50% of the genes, 40% of intentional activities that you carry out and 10% of circumstances that surround you. Consider that the intentional activities are:
- Behavioral: such as exercising, being kind, spending time together and with quality care, listening to you, accepting you, knowing how to set limits, laughing together and playing.
- Cognitive: They help you to think critically to adopt an optimistic view of life and what happens to you.
- Motivational: that allow you to identify and maintain the goals that when you achieve them.
- Emotional: openly showing your feelings and your love. Recognize all the good things that your little ones have.
Try the eco game ... and break the tensions at home!
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