One of the questions that parents ask ourselves the most, the unknown that always haunts our minds, the question for which we do not have our own answer is ... How does my son behave when I am not in front? And it is that I believe that no parent could say with 100% confidence what the behavior of their son or daughter is like in their absence.
We always resort to that phrase of 'How much I would like to see you through a little hole' ... But the truth is that we don't always find that 'little hole'. Therefore, I propose you a very useful technique to know how your child is when you are not with him.
Why do parents have that need to know what our children are like or what they do when we are not with them? Actually, we would like to know to check if the education we are giving them is correct or the one we want to convey to you. But we also seek to know if our sons and daughters are happy, if they relate correctly and if they behave in accordance with the values that are transmitted from the family.
But, as I always say, in education 2 + 2 are not always 4. When we educate we have to wait for the results in the medium-long term. Let's be pacient to see the changes or to appreciate the result of our behaviors and guidelines with our children.
A good form of power check children's behavior without our presence it is through observation. And a good time to put it into practice is a family trip. It can be a vacation, a family getaway, a day retreat ...
The idea is that on a family trip we spend 24 hours together. It is the ideal situation to see their behavior with other members of the family, with people outside the family, how they behave in public places, restaurants, museums, shops, attractions, etc. That is to say, we have multiple situations where we can observe you.
I highlight several things that in my view are important:
1. Observe children's behavior towards other people and the type of participation they have in the trip. This means that we must be attentive to if they establish relationships with other children, if they enjoy the activities, if they want to participate in a positive and proactive way, if they propose things during the trip, etc. This will give us an idea of how they cope at other times with the different activities they do in their day to day.
2. Observe that the educational traits they should have according to their age are integrated or not. That is, if they ask or demand, if they use 'please' and 'thank you', if they establish relationships on the trip, if they have proactive or reactive behaviors, if they provide solutions to possible inconveniences ...
3. View if the values on which you base your family education emerge. The importance of the different values changes according to the family, but we can look at traits such as: if they are generous, if they help those who need it, if they appreciate what is done for them, if they are capable of putting themselves in the shoes of others ...
There is one aspect that I want to highlight: if you are observing do not correct. If you call their attention, they will modify their behavior and will not allow you to assess their behavior as a whole. The best thing is that, after observing something that you did not like, wait a few days to be able to talk with your children and correct what you think should change.
Personally, I find it very enriching for children to travel as a family. In addition to being an ideal activity to observe their behaviors and attitudes, it is the best time to enjoy them since during the school year the periods of time that can be shared are very short.
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