For a few weeks now, I have been doing sessions at the center where I work to work on social skills: fundamentally respect, non-violent communication, self-esteem, assertiveness ... To do this, we have selected some children to participate. . They, between the ages of 8 and 9, are unaware of the objectives behind those games we make, but they feel special because not all of their companions have been chosen to play. Somehow, they feel they are unique.
This time they have been chosen for something 'good' and that makes them empower themselves and believe that they also deserve nice things. They have been chosen by their teachers and they liked that a lot. They feel lucky and grateful. They want to do well, because they have been chosen. They want to enjoy, because they know that it is a unique opportunity.
Our children, our students, they need to feel chosen by us that we are their referents, feel called because for us they are unique and exceptional. This information is important because it helps that, on the one hand, your self-concept adjusts to reality and your self-esteem grows. It is neither necessary nor wise, to constantly praise everything they do. But I do say why I am proud as a mother or father, reinforce how well you collected the toys or thank you for having such a fun or fun son or daughter.
In the class group it is important that the teachers look for the talents of each one of them, that they look and recognize themselves as unique, that they feel chosen and chosen ... This can also help them to want to continue promoting that talent. In addition, the one that a teacher chooses a student, it makes that link that already exists between them increase more. Let's take that opportunity to foster that secure attachment.
Now think ... how many times in our life have we chosen a person for something important? From doing a home renovation, creating a project, starting a business or even spending the rest of your life together. When we choose someone we are saying that we trust him or her, We are telling you that I put my illusion in what I am or are going to create, I confirm that I value your abilities and that I did not choose someone else but him or her ...
But, let's turn it around now… What happened when we were chosen or chosen for something that we consider important? Surely your heart raced with excitement, nerves or even certain fears of the unknown. But also we have felt unique, exceptional, empowered and our self esteem increased.
Well look the power that being elected can have, in our sons and daughters or in our students:
- Empowerment, since we reinforce the confidence that the child has in himself.
- Self-awareness, knowledge and recognition.
- We work the validation of oneself as well as acceptance.
- It is a way to improve secure attachment and bond, either between the parents and the little one or between the teachers and the child.
- Exclusiveness, as we make him feel that he is special in some way.
- We reinforce, without a doubt, your self esteem and the image he has of himself.
I encourage you to reflect on the power of choice, and think about how to use it to further all of the above.
Finally, a phrase from our beloved Charles Chaplin: 'I am what I am: a unique and different individual'.
You can read more articles similar to Why does your child need to feel that they are unique to you, in the category of Self-esteem on site.