Limits - Discipline

Ways to say NO to children in a positive way


Do you think you can say no to children in a positive way? Say no to them without saying NO? I will show you that, not only is it possible, but also that more and better results are obtained in children.

If the word is NOT part of your daily vocabulary, if you think that in a day you have said it to your children more than 20 times and, if now it is your children who constantly say NO ... perhaps it is time to find others ways to say NO to children in a positive way. It's possible!

Mothers and fathers, we tend to use NO with children constantly: do not get on the swing, do not open that drawer, do not leave anything on the plate, do not go up, do not go down, do not go in, do not go out ... a constant and incessant becoming of not here and not there. Is it strange that our children go through the NO stage with this deployment of ours?

The reality is that too many will not transmit a negative message to our children.In the same way that parents who say YES to everything to their children, could be responsible for child tyrant behavior or even their frustration if one day they say a single NO.

Ideally there is a balance between yes and no, or better yet, that Let's learn to say No to children in a positive way, that is, without pronouncing the word NO.

And it is that, saying no to children without saying no is something possible, and also much more beneficial for them. Why? Thus, children will better understand and understand the meaning of the rules that we set, they will be more responsible for knowing that actions have consequences, they will act more autonomously, they will have better self-esteem, there will be more harmony at home, they will improve their skills and discover their capabilities. avoiding tantrums, tantrums, yelling and anger.

The table that we show you above contains some examples of how simply by changing the language, you express the same thing, in short, ask the child not to do something or tell him that we cannot do something.

If we use NO constantly like: I can't play with you, you can't go to the park, don't take the tablet or don't hit your brother; the message is negative and we are also abusing the NO and with it we run the risk of being ignored.

You can save the NO for something really important, something that poses a danger to your child, like crossing the street without going hand in hand, or leaning out the window and for the rest of the things use positive formulas. In this way, we can change the message by saying, what do you think if we play after making the beds; Today instead of going to the park, we are going to organize a very fun game at home; when you finish your tasks, you can take the tablet; If you hit your brother, he won't want to play with you.

It is not a matter of not denying the child things, in fact parents must do it to apply discipline, impose rules, reinforce the character of the child, in short, to educate him. However, when we say it 20 times, it loses all meaning. To say no to children in a positive way we can:

1 - Suggest something else you can do
If we can't go to the park, we can cook at home, play board games, paint ...

2 - Postpone the request until I do
If at that moment you cannot carry out what you want or we are busy, we can leave it for another time, but we must remember to comply.

3 - Explain what will happen if you do what you want
If he hits his brother, if he breaks the toys, if he looks out the window, there may be consequences, we must explain them.

4 - Clarify the rules
Before the time comes to say no to trinkets, no jumping puddles or no longer watching television, we have to tell you what rules we have at home and why. In this way, they will anticipate the answer.

5 - Use the humor
With good humor, everything is overcome and corrected. Using humor in difficult situations lighten them up and everything stays better.

You can read more articles similar to Ways to say NO to children in a positive way, in the category Limits - Discipline on site.

Video: Sugar -- the elephant in the kitchen: Robert Lustig at TEDxBermuda 2013 (September 2020).