Many are the feelings and emotions that can arise when they tell us that our child has a developmental or learning disorder. In the case of Attention Deficit and / or Hyperactivity Disorder, it is common for there to be a mixture of relief (we finally have an answer and explanation for their behaviors and difficulties) and concern (now what?).
Sometimes, to this combination you have to add guilt (for not having understood or realized the child's problem). However, you must be clear that you, dear father, you are not guilty that your child has ADHD.
In most cases in which there is a diagnosis of ADHD, parents have long suspected that something is not quite right. Normally they come to the consultation because there are a series of difficulties that they cannot solve. These can occur both at home and at school.
- Difficulties at home
Problems with their daily routines, behavior problems, forgetfulness and forgetfulness, lack of attention to the orders that are given to them ...
- Difficulties also in the school environment
The teachers tell us that he is distracted, that he does not attend, that he seems not to listen, that he is smart but that he is lazy. Often there are also problems in the basic instrumental learning of reading and writing, poor school performance for good ability. Sometimes the child has behavioral problems in the classroom and difficulties in the social sphere (conflicts with other children, at school, in the park ...)
Normally, when parents go to the consultation of a professional, many difficulties have accumulated that they cannot solve. 'We have tried everything' is the most frequent phrase we hear. And especially lor what worries more are school problems or behavior.
Therefore, when parents, after much trying and trying, receive a diagnosis of ADHD, they usually have mixed feelings, relief to be able to name the problem, but sometimes also guilt, because they have the feeling of not having understood their son, and have done many things wrong with him. They can also feel bewilderment, uncertainty ... and ask the million dollar question, and now that?
Now, once your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, it's time to resolve some of the most immediate questions. And above all, make it clear that it's not the parents' fault children have ADHD.
1. Are we to blame?
When parents receive a diagnosis that affects their children, it is essential to make them see that they are not guilty of anything. Basically because it is a disorder of neurobiological origin, that is, it was not generated by the parents with their education.
On the other hand, it is necessary to alleviate the guilt that they have on many occasions because they have the feeling of having 'treated badly' the child or for not having known to see that there was a problem. You have to make them see that everything they have done they have done thinking that it is the best for their child, that parents are not born knowing everything and that like so many other things, this is learning.
2. Is it necessary to medicate him?
Many parents when they receive the diagnosis of ADHD the first thing they tell you is… do I have to give him the pill? Or 'I don't want my child to take medication.' It is normal for them to have doubts and be reluctant, but you have to explain to them that it is not always necessary and that it will be a decision that is theirs. In addition, this treatment will always be done under the supervision of a child neurologist if a series of requirements or needs are met.
3. And what happens at school?
From now on there are a series of adaptations or adaptations that at the school level may be made to meet the needs of the child. That is why it would be important for them to inform the school of the child's diagnosis, so that the necessary and appropriate educational measures are taken.
4. What do we do at home?
The role of the family is fundamental in the development of the child, so it is very important to work with the parents, and give them advice and all the help they need for an adequate handling of the different situations that may arise on a day-to-day basis and that they are usually a source of conflict. It is also essential that they receive all the necessary information, since it is not always easy to understand why your child acts as he acts, why it is difficult for him to attend, or why he has learning difficulties, etc.
Normally there is a before and after the diagnosis, especially because from that moment the parents have more information, they can understand what was happening up to the moment of diagnosis and have tools to deal with different situations that may be presented. And they can also offer your child the help and support they need.
From the moment of diagnosis, a new path opens in which parents, family and their school environment play a very important role. You have to think that it is not a disorder that will limit the child's life, but that they simply need different guidelines and strategies. They must be clear that with the appropriate treatment (educational, psychopedagogical, psychological and / or pharmacological), everything changes and everything improves.
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