Often our sons and daughters ask us questions that can be uncomfortable, especially when these questions have to do with sexuality. But it is not only the discomfort, many times fear and doubts arise about whether we are giving them the correct answer. How should I answer the question of where do babies come from and why do girls have penises and boys do? We give you the keys to answering the most common questions about children's sex!
Three are the most typical questions that boys and girls ask their parents about sexuality. Because we don't expect it or because we don't know what to say, we get stuck or quiet! We are going to see some keys to answer those questions that children ask their parents more frequently.
1. Where do babies come out?
It is important to be honest and adapt our response, to the best of our ability, to the child's evolutionary development. We can tell him that for 9 months the uterus or the mother's belly (if the child is very small we can say 'the baby's house') the baby is there and is growing and becoming big and strong, and end by saying that when the baby It is already very large, labor occurs, which is the moment when the child comes out, usually through the vagina.
If we have not discussed the different parts of the female genitalia before, this is a good time to explain that the vagina is a little hole that women have in the vulva (or failing that we will use the word with which we usually refer to the vulva a our children). Later, we will tell you that when the child is going to come out of the mother's belly, the vagina becomes large so that the baby can come out. We can tell you that, sometimes, the baby is not well positioned and they have to ask for help to get it out.
2. Why don't girls have a penis / tail? What do the children have there?
This would be the same question, but asked by a boy or a girl. To answer it, it is necessary to tell our son or daughter that men's and women's bodies are different, that generally men have a penis and women have a vulva. Here, if we see our receptive son and we want to start this conversation, it would be a good time to normalize the different sexual identities, if we do not consider it to be a good time, we can simply tell him that the bodies are different, but that it is not better neither one nor the other, they are simply different.
3. Why are those two boys kissing each other on the mouth?
The key to answering this question should be 'desire' and 'respect'. Possibly if our son asks us this question it is because we are intentionally, or not, giving him a 'heteronormative' education and he is shocked because he believes that kisses on the mouth can only be given by a man and a woman. A man and a woman can kiss each other on the mouth, but also two men or two women, the most important thing is that that kiss is not who gives that kiss, but that both people want that kiss and respect the other person if you don't want it.
These are some of the most frequently asked questions, in addition to the most common one, 'Where do children come from or how are children made?' who have transferred me to the different courses or workshops for fathers and mothers that I have attended or even in therapy. I hope this post helps you answer your child if you ever find yourself in this situation!
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