Parents sometimes do not know how to set limits on their children's education, how to get children to comply with the rules or how to impose discipline. In Guiainfantil.com We give you some guidelines to help you in the task.
It is often difficult for parents to find the middle ground between being an authoritarian parent and being a permissive parent. Extremes in an education don't work. If we are overly authoritarian parents, we can generate low self-esteem in the child or that instead of him being obedient, he is submissive.
If we are too permissive parents, our children could lack self-control and become tyrant, despotic, aggressive children, with whom they cannot communicate. Ideally, we should be parents with the authority to achieve a perfect balance between autonomy and obedience, thus generating positive experiences in the family.
There is no question that all children need these limits and norms, but why are they really important in their education? All experts agree that children need us to give them limits because:
- Children need a solid structure to cling to, a suitable role model to follow and orient themselves.
- Children need limits to protect themselves from dangers and risks. They must learn, for example, that if they put their hand close to the fire they can burn themselves or that by jumping from a high place they can injure themselves and do themselves a lot of damage.
- Children need to know how far they can go in their behavior because otherwise they could become child tyrants.
- In addition, the absence of limits could enhance passivity and apathy in the child
- And to conclude, experts say that we all need limits, something to guide us when we do not know the way.
1- Start with the limits from the earliest childhood, from the first year, in this case they are small rules: if you go up there you will fall, when you touch this other you could break it ... The baby has to learn to interpret and identify that NO.
2- We must be prepared to discuss with the children, something exhausting but necessary. And it is that children do not willingly accept to give up their wishes, but parents must take sides at that age in which the child is not capable of assuming great responsibilities. If the child is going to cry, protest or scream if we do not let him hit the little brother, he will have to cry, protest or scream, but we do not let him because he is not well.
3. We must be consistent and consistent. If we tell the child that he will not be able to play with that toy because of his bad behavior but we do not comply, the child will end up not respecting us. In the other sense, we have to carry that consequence to the end. always bearing in mind that the consequence must be adapted to the behavior. We cannot forbid the child to go to the park for a week because he did not pick up the toys.
4. Firmness: the tone of voice and the seriousness with which we speak is essential when setting limits. We must be serious and patient, even if inside we feel like crying or laughing. We must not shout but we must be sure of what we are doing.
5. We must forget the usual: 'because I said so, period'. Children have to understand the reason for a rule: why they have to go to bed early, why they have to clean the room. In this way they will be able to develop internal values of behavior. Oh and the more concise and clear explanations, the better.
6. Educational consequence. Experts tell us about the benefits of giving educational consequences versus punishments, but what is it about? With an example you will understand it better: 'if you do not do your homework you will go to school without them and you will have to face the consequences', if he does not want to eat dinner, we remove the plate and give him a yogurt, so that he does not go without dinner but not we prepare another dish for you. We don't yell at them or force them, we just warn them about what can happen if they don't do what they should.
7. Don't give in. By giving in we only aggravate and prolong the problem over time. This is our rule and so you must. Let us be sure that what we are doing is ALWAYS and will be for the good of our children, so that they grow up happy.
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